Dead-end

Lately, I had given up all kinds of physical activity; mostly because of my reduced lung capacity and constant fatigue. To change things a bit, I took a walk around the block on one dull evening in paradise. On my way back home I stopped at the entrance of an alley to catch a breath. I lit a cigarette to feel better. I saw a bunch of kids sitting around a fire inside the alley. They seemed barely sixteen or so. Metal heads, I presumed, considering the long hair, shabby sweat-shirts and torn denim jeans. They seemed to be smoking but it looked like more than just a cigarette. “Dead-end kids,” I said to myself. Ignoring them for now, I thought about my day. It amused me when I thought about the pointless activities of my life.

Well, it wasn’t the end of the beautiful day. So, it started to rain out of nowhere. I had no option but to take shelter with the delinquents inside the alley. Despite the hard-rock appearance, they were courteous enough to give me a place to sit by the fire. And that wasn’t the end of it; they even offered me one of their ‘cigarettes’. I took it gladly as it had been long since I had one of those. They continued with their chat. I did not want to hear any of the teenage-talk but the space constraint made it impossible to avoid it.

“I broke up with her today. It was getting all too complicated,” said one.
“Life sucks man,” consoled another.
“You know we should steal a car sometime and get out of this town for a while,” the one with the goatee suggested.

The trash talk continued in all random directions they could think of. However, one of them was quiet. He had dark, dreamy eyes which her partially hidden behind the hair. He seemed to be disconnected from the others at that moment. He was lost in his own thoughts while his eyes were set still on the smoke he kept blowing out now and then.

“What the fuck is wrong with you? What are you thinking?” questioned one of his mates.
Finally, he spoke, “The smoke, it is so free and elegant.”
“Dude, you are high!”
“Look at it,” he tried explaining.
“It moves carelessly through the air, unaware, till it finally disappears.”
After a pause, he went on, “My soul craves to be free. This here, what we have, is not freedom. It is just denial. My folks think that I am a useless dreamer. I don’t know how useful I can be either. But I don’t dream of money and women, or fast cars and tall buildings. I dream of the forest beyond the mountains, down in the valley. I feel like…”
He stopped abruptly. I think he realized the blank faces staring at him. He turned to his friend on his left and said, “Jimmy, I’ll be free someday. When I am gone, I don’t want people to think better of me. I just want them to think of me.”
Jimmy replied, “Two comments. This shit is potent. And you my man, you need to get laid sometime.”

Luckily, the rain was over by now, leaving behind a chill in the wind. The moon was hiding behind the remaining clouds. I parted from the group and started walking away from the alley. My head felt light while my body was heavy. I lit one of my own cigarettes. I thought I heard an echoing sound of a gat while moving further away from the alley’s entrance. I saw people running to see what had happened. I was too tired and heady to investigate. My feet seemed to have a mind of their own. I kept walking away and away till I got home and crashed, not thinking about anything.